Friday, December 23, 2005

That's Not Even News

So in the search for filling columns on the Friday Before Christmas, with no subway strike to rant about, the newspapers are once again talking about twenty year-old memos in which I said I wanted to overturn Roe v. Wade.

You already knew this. You can't claim it's news. Did anyone really not get the memo?

After all, if you don't believe it when my mom says it, when can you believe it?

Can't wait to have the right plaintiff to overturn this case, by the way. I want to right the decision in Rove v. Roe v. Wade.

UPDATE: "News" that I have made arguments in favor of limitless government wiretaps is only being made hooey of now because of unrelated news events. No one made a fuss when I bragged about it in my senate questionnaire in November. This is why I can't wait to be above the law and outside the news cycle.


ollie said...

Sir, it is about time that you stepped forward.

I wish those traitors at the ACLU would quit their whining. Those with nothing to fear don't mind their conversations getting wiretapped. After all, it isn't as if the government is overly interested that I am going to be late getting home because I am going out to dinner with my yoga teacher after class.

After all, if our government isn't allowed to wiretap without warrents, we would be in grave danger from horrible terrorist organizations like PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). Thank God we can now enjoy our cheeseburgers in peace.

But now my real question: who is going to get shot here, or at least get sent to jail? If "no one", why not?

Chris said...

"I want to right the decision in Rove v. Roe v. Wade."

If you one day write that decision, I hope you have someone proofread it for you.

But let's pray it never comes to that.

ollie said...

Hey Chris: Mr. Alito meant what he said; he means "right" as in "to 'right' a ship" or "to right a wrong"; no pun intended with the word 'right' (as opposed to "left").

Remember, HE is the one who went to Princeton, not you. And he did so back in the days when only the people who truly belonged at Princeton got into Princeton.

Now, quit "horsin around" and call you're senators!. Just think of how many teenage boys who are our there, running away, in dire need of being shot!

SamuelAlito said...


thank you for correcting Chris's ignorance.

I would like very much to right the wrong that was wronged in RVW.


bluewild said...

Hmmm...right the wrong that was wronged...

Anonymous said...

Is Justice really blind? 'cause there will be a lot of Supremes on the Right (as opposed to for the right), and if she sees that one or two are cuties... it will tip her scales alarmingly (see another facey photo of our Sam here - Sam, don't read the text and comments!)

ollie said...

To Mr. Alito and all of his fellow supporters (both of ivy and non-ivy pedigree)

Merry Christmas!!!!
(none of that Festivus or Holiday Stuff)

Enjoy you're families!

Chris said...

"HE is the one who went to Princeton, not you. And he did so back in the days when only the people who truly belonged at Princeton got into Princeton."

so I missed the joke in the right/write. whatever. Princeton, Schminceton, I go to Stanford.

ollie said...


Here is what you need to know about STAAAAAANFORD

1) they caved in to the PC police and changed their name from a GOOD name "Indians" to some wussy PC name "Cardinal". Not even "Cardinals" but "Cardinal".

2) they have admitted GIRRRRRRLS for a long, long time. :-P (see no girls at princeton. At least Princeton fought the good fight for a long time.

3) Chelsea Clinton went there! Of course, why the daughter of an up-RIGHT God-fearing patriot like Ken Starr would go there, I'll never know.

4) The have TREES on their football helmets. TREES. How wimpy is that?

5) Princeton, if I must remind you sir, is where The Fundamentals were solidified (Jonathan Edwards); this is where our country started to go RIGHT, as in RIGHT to God.

Of course, Princeton insists on funding questionable things like the Institute of Advanced Study which attracted such long, wild haired troublemakers like Einstien, but I guess that no place is perfect.

SamuelAlito said...

I have nothing but respect for Stanford. While most Junior Colleges are content to call themselves Junior Colleges, they take that next step and call themselves a Junior University. Something to be proud of.

Lots of folks got a good education despite attending the Leland Stanford Junior University.