Friday, November 18, 2005

No Girls at Princeton

So some twerp at the Daily Princetonian has discovered that I joined a group which had hoped, among other things, to end coeducation at Princeton.

Well why would I want them there? When I was at Princeton, I was a nerd and girls didn't talk to me. So screw them.

Not only that, but coeducation caused Princeton to change the words to the Best College Song (eat your heart out Cole Porter):

Three cheers for Old Nassau my boys,
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
Our sons shall give while they shall live,
Three cheers for Old Nassau.

Now it's "Our hearts" that are giving. Princeton can't build an endowment with our hearts, folks. They need the money from our sons. Plus even when they write about changing the lyrics, they never mention that we used to sing "my boys."

Couldn't they at least teach the controversy?


Harriet Miers said...

Well you could never have stopped me from getting into SMU.

ollie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ollie said...

We'll try this again: I agree with your stance, Mr. Alito. Sorry Harriet; but not all women are nice ladies like you.

You admit women, then you admit women like this young lass. Obviously she is a trouble maker, unlike our beloved Harriet (note the absence of eyeliner).

Take A Walk On The Wild Side said...

After several drinks I am sure you felt like a desirable woman many times at Yale, eh Sam?

Rarebit said...

Wait...when did Princeton start admitting women? Was this recently?

Also, I heard that women can vote now. Is this true?

ollie said...


Yeah, it is true that women can vote. it was those mean ol' Democrats (Williams Jennings Bryan) with a few turncoat Republicans (Susan B. Anthony).

I'll bet our beloved Harriet wouldn't have been there, stirring up trouble.

Rarebit said...





Half Sigma said...

If Princeton stopped admitting women, all the male students would defect as well.

Who wants to attend a college without girls?

ollie said...

half-sigma, you don't get it. If princeton and all of the other distinguished schools went back to being all male, then the male students could go back to focusing on what is important in college.

Like planning weekend roadtrips to all female schools...wait...I didn't say that... ;-)

(background: I entered the Naval Academy during the second year it admitted women; still then percentage of females was tiny, and our weekend destination of choice was Hood College)