Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Long As God Can Grow It

Those of you paying any attention whatsoever will have noticed by now that on the day I was annnounced as the nominee, my hair was a mite fuller than it had been in other recent photographs (such as my profile picture).

You also may have noticed that none of the usual suspects have made any comment at all about it.

That's because no one ever makes fun of men's hair.

Those of you out there bemoaning the fact that Bush didn't nominate another woman should think about how women in the public eye get made fun of for their eye makeup, hair, and clothes.

So you get a guy in a dark suit and a blue tie. With a little more hair than he used to have. Choke on it.


T. F. Stern said...

I hope you are up to the challenge before you; 'though it appears that you are.

M A F said...

And here I thought that you gave up on photoshopping pictures, tsk, tsk, you are hardly a man of your word Samuel.

But don't worrry because this could work to your advantage. You could tell the senators what they want to hear during the confirmation hearings and once you get appointed you can rule on cases just like you told Bush you would.

You're slip up is safe with me.

ollie said...

"Scalito": what is wrong with that? I thought that being compared with our beloved, rotund Scalia (who was confirmed 98-0) is a HUGE compliment!

"Scalito": I embrace that nickname as a badge of honor; confrim me now!" might be another good slogan.

'come on, we can do this!

SamuelAlito said...


1) I said I had given up photoshopping one face onto another person's body in my pictures. There are legal distinctions.

2) That picture is straight from CNN, completely untouched.

Rarebit said...

Do you think Clinton's portrait was checking out your daughter the other morning? Maybe even your wife?

M A F said...

Oh you are good Samuel.

Good thing I saved the 'original' photo, clearly it was 'intended' to show up Luttig who doesn't suffer from an over abundance of forehead.

ron said...

Hi ya tf. Hi ya judge.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't thinking about the hair, your honor. Instead, when I look at the file picture and your pictures from this week, I wonder instead if you've lost weight. Been hitting the gym to get in shape for pickup basketball at the Court, or have you been drinking too much of Judge Alito Bold Justice Blend coffee?

ollie said...

Re: your photos. How can you post links to horrible Democratic women on this site.

These are the very types who will work against us.

I say, in the most respectful way, "What were you thinking, Sir?"

Remember that such folks worked to get our beloved Harriet shot down; or at least they would have had those other ingrates from our side hadn't have gotten there first.

Anonymous said...

"Those of you out there bemoaning the fact that Bush didn't nominate another woman should think about how women in the public eye get made fun of for their eye makeup, hair, and clothes."
How about this? "On the other hand, Alito has the disadvantage of following John Roberts, who was just as smart but carried himself like a big man on campus: athletic build, quick humor and good looks. Compared with Roberts, Alito looks as if he were in town for a "Star Trek" convention.

In the office of Sen. Mike DeWine (R-Ohio), when cameras and microphones got too close, the nominee pushed himself deeper into his seat. Leaving a meeting with Sen. Ben Nelson (D-Neb.), Alito reached to shake the senator's hand, then quickly pulled it back when sensing that Nelson was not ready. Greeting Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.), Alito stood in the reception room clasping and unclasping his hands, then rubbing his right index finger.

Leaving the office of Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) yesterday, Alito caught his foot in carpeting and briefly stumbled while getting in the elevator.

When he walks between visits, Alito arches his back and stretches his neck. Wearing a fixed grin, he bobs his head right and left so frequently that reporters following him have dubbed him a "Bobblehead."


ollie said...

Hmmm, perhaps a slogan could be "leave no hair implants behind, confirm Alito"? Or perhaps, "baldies need representation too; confirm Alito"? or "most Americans are out of shape, confirm Alito"?

Of course, Thomas and Scalia help fill the "out-of-shape" quota...

bluewild said...

You'd be mostintimidating if you grew your hair long and braided it. But only after you're nominated. How about cornrows? I'm sure Justice Thomas would be down with you on that....maybe not...