As noted in America's Greatest News Source, my local coffee house loves me so much, they have named a blend of coffee after me (and yes, it's available online)
As an anonymous commenter mentioned in response to an earlier post, I not only have more hair, but look thinner and fitter than I have in years.
I haven't been working out. There is no botox. It's all the coffee.
It comes from a special "brewery" in Califorina, and they tell me it's going to make me excel at my job, just like it has all of my heros.