Friday, November 04, 2005

A Poem for Friday

As noted by many observers, especially, my first choice for clerk, I am not the rabid ideologue that many make me out to be. I even have a pretty good sense of humor.

So I'm writing a poem for Friday in my own defense:

No! I am not Scalito, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,

Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I, incidentally would ACE the Danny Boggs Quiz.


Mary O'Grady said...

Hey, whoever you are who is writing this stuff-- you are a genius. I honestly hope that life brings you whatever your heart desires, because this one post alone is so brilliant and funny.

Victoria said...

T.S. Eliot is one of my gods. And now, so are you. XD You BETTER be confirmed, Mr. Alito!

Archie's Grandson said...

Wow, I'm impressed. You should be poet laureate, not waste all your time writing legal prose! What are you thinking, man!?

Half Sigma said...

Great blog, keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

I disagree w/ Mary O'Grady. I don't think this blog is that funny. I big disappointment esp. after Harriet Miers genius blog.

Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

Poetry is for sissies. I only play rugby and prosecute evil doers.

Rarebit said...

By the way, Sammy, yesterday the Boston Globe reported that you refused to recuse yourself from a case involving the Vanguard mutual fund company, a business in which you have invested over $390k in mutual funds. Naturally you ruled in favor of Vangaurd. YOUR SILENCE ON THE MATTER SO FAR IS TANTAMOUNT TO AN ADMISSION OF GUILT. PLEASE RESPOND.

ollie said...

rarebit: you are treading on thin ice around here. Next you'd expect that our Right Honorable nominee recuse himself from all matters concerning coffee (see the previous post).

anonymous: give me a break. Who on God's green Earth can measure up to our Harriet????? ( heart goes pitter-patter and I just sigh...)

Anonymous said...

I hope that earlier anonymous poster isn't Harriett -- or the Luttigator. Jealously isn't pretty, is it? Rise above it, your honor. You're the greatest!

Your coffee-loving anonymous friend

PS -- You don't, BTW, have another clerk position available, do you? I'm was top 10% in a top tier law school, but as A3G would say, I'm part of the unwashed ones.

SamuelAlito said...

Don't be mean to poor anonymous, folks.

After all, he can't help being too stupid to find humor in anything other than endless "OMG"s and pictures of eyeliner.

Pity him.

And my thanks to you are very genuine, Mary.

Anonymous said...

I would think these examples of the better Famous Person Spoof Blogs would form an alliance. Foolishly following the excessive number of links in this post, I came across Harriet again and looky, looky, Fitz himself (not). This, of course, made me wonder who I might like to be, should I wish to join the FPSBA. After extensive consideration (a couple of minutes), I have rendered the opinion, based squarely upon my own independent (clerks having left for the weekend), carefully considered, non-activist, and reverent interpretation of my constitution, that I must be me!

ollie said...

Careful, dus7; there is no way of knowing your sex from your post and, well, let's just say that if you have two x chromosones in your genes,....

do you have your husband's consent to determine if you are really you?

If you are umarried (Mr. Alito, is that ok?), then, well, I'll be happy to lend consent as I am a male, or at least posing as a male on the internet.

Now if you are a male, at least for the purposes of the internet...well, carry on. :-)

jurassicpork said...

TS Elito once said, "Bad poets imitate. Good poets steal outright."

You, sir, are not a poet.

And you will be taken to task in my Assclowns of the Week tonight.

Anonymous said...

ollie said... do you have your husband's consent to determine if you are really you?

Haha, leading question. (Me = female.) BTW looking up chromosomes on Wiki was interesting - we have the same number as hares, 46, where a butterfly has around 380? Rye has 14, but wheat has 42? And some of us humans are other-gendered despite apparent chromosomal indications.

TY for reminding me what I really wanted to comment on, before I got carried away with my little constitutional decision joke about who I shall blog as.

Anyway, spoof or not, shouldn't an underlying theme of this blog be dialogue about judicial theory and practice? As viewership grows, (Sc)Alito or his surrogate could clarify his experience and philosophy. Of course, he may feel it's a slam dunk into SCOTUS, and he can afford to have some fun w/o really communicating anything of substance. Was that too pointed? I'll double-check previous posts, just to be fair.

bluewild said...

Ok, I know I'm a little late in commenting on this but...who exactly is the Prince? And the Fool would be...? I can think of the obvious choice but then I wonder who the Prince is.....
not Prince Charles? prince of Darkness? that can't be if you're a Catholic...
Do you ever wash your hands after leaving the bench?