Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Vanguard Case


Okay, so some goofballs in the media (and not a few commentors on this site) have been bringing up the 2002 case involving Vanguard Mutual funds, in which I didn't recuse myself even though I promised the senate I would.

So first of all, as you can see from the chart, I had already more than tripled my money in this fund, and it was ON THE WAY DOWN when I heard the case. So clearly I didn't make any profit.

Secondly, so I went back on my word to the US Congress. Big Whoop. No one cares.

Thirdly (note that it is "first," "secondly," and "thirdly," -- there is no such word as "firstly"), it's not like Vanguard was being sued. The Vanguard fund was the prize money in a dispute between husband and wife. I, of course, found for the husband. I think I have to cite another play (this time Tennessee Williams) to make a point:

Now listen. Did you ever hear of the Napoleonic code, Stella?...Now just let me enlighten you on a point or two...Now we got here in the state of Louisiana what's known as the Napoleonic code. You see, now according to that, what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband also, and vice versa...It looks to me like you've been swindled, baby. And when you get swindled under Napoleonic code, I get swindled too and I don't like to get swindled...Where's the money if the place was sold?

-Stanley Kowalski, A Streetcar Named Desire


I will always rule in Marlon Brando's favor.

12 comments:

John Clancy said...

What I found funny reading about the Vanguard case in today's Washington Post, was that you "blamed" it on a computer error that was supposed to remind you -- it wasn't quite obvious from the article. But, you seem extremely computer literate, probably much more so then the senators you're meeting with, it must be a real challenge to explain. The article made it sound like Kennedy & Schumer were giving you some grief over it. Isn't 300k pocket money to a guy like Kennedy?

SamuelAlito said...

It is, but I don't have Kennedy-sized pockets, alas.

Working for the government my whole life has left me honest, conservative, and poor, the kickbacks to throw the mafia cases nonwithstanding.

Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

Guliani made his career prosecuting Michael Milken and putting 10,000 employees of Drexel Burnham Lambert out of business...hmmmmmmmm

SamuelAlito said...

I actually made a killing shorting Drexel, but I wasn't a judge then, so the fact that Rudy told me what was what should have NO BEARING on these hearings.

John Clancy said...

I'm sure you mean poor relative to what you could have made in the private sector. My brother-in-law is a patent attorney & makes more money then God. But, he told me exactly what he did once. D-U-L-L. Further evidence that no matter what, the 1st law of thermodnamics always win: you can't get something for nothing.

ollie said...

Sigh, once again, a nominee from the bestest president we've ever had is getting picked on by those mean old liberals.

You no more had a conflict of interest in this case than, say, our beloved VP does with Halliburton. So what's the beef?

Now as far as your sending us to the website of your other buddy named "Ollie" (he shares my initials and my almamater), well, think of it this way. Had that other "Ollie" been honest and kept his nose clean, he could have retired from the Marine Corps and been living on his government pension plus whatever income he would have made from another job.
But now look at poor ol' Ollie North: no pension! And as far as other income...that shows you that crime doesn't pay.....doesn't it? :-)

Hey, perhaps he could teach the president's ethics refresher course?

SamuelAlito said...

Don't worry Ollie, you're still my favorite Ollie. And I have a link to your site over on the right-hand side all day long.

Ahmad Chalabi said...

I like it. The Vanguard. Yes. Very good. What can you do for me?

Ahmad Chalabi said...

Oh, Yes. The Napoleonic code. I especially enjoy the article on usufruct. Yes. You get usus and you get fructus. You sit on the bench and you get the usus and the fructus. You run the country, and you get the usus and the fructus. Very good. You can do that for me.

TJ Colatrella said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ron said...

You and Harriet can have a comedy writing career if you want; that is if this Supreme Court thing does't work out for you, because this is totally hilarious material.

Rarebit said...

Thanks for responding to my demands, but I cannot call myself satisfied until you pull a Miers. Then we can have a beer and laugh about the good old days....