Monday, January 30, 2006

Dear Pathetic Mortals

Now that I am invested with unlimited lifetime power ("good behaviour" my ass) I am not sure how best to communicate with my public.

I am glad you have all visited, from the moment when I was afraid my name was merely being floated, through my early antics, and on to my current throne.

But I no longer need you.

From now on I will do and say exactly as I damned well please. I may write the occasional Alito Sez after a ruling, and I may not. I may answer your emails and comments, and I may not.

I am now, truly, for the first time in my life, MY OWN MAN.

Let's just see what kind of man that is.


Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you made it. And I love the "put the senate in it's place line"!

Maybe you should liveblog during oral arguments via your blackberry handheld.

Greek Justice For All said...

Now, I just knew you'd turn into a Greek Supreme Court Justice. (wink wink)

Please, don't tell me you're going to get a villa, have a bunch of rich friends who will pay you money to get their other rich criminal friends off lightly. Well, at least that's what the judicary is going through in Greece right now.

But, seriously, I know that you will do a fine job.

Congratulations and Good Luck to you and hopefully you'll pop in and let us know how you are doing.

God Bless you and the United States of America! (Yee Haw)

Anonymous said...

I'm nearly too disgusted to write but will make this last comment: This isn't funny anymore.

The graphics on my current blog post are emblematic of my feelings and the direction this country headed.

ollie said...

Sir, you won't forget me, will you?

Sigh....probably; Harriet never calls nor writes now you won't either. too infatuated with Jon?

Oh well, at least this song can help me keep perspective.

Greek Justice For All said...

Well, the Jig is up I suppose.

Ollie just spilled the beans on Dus7's blog that this has been a hoax.

Well, thanks for giving me some hope that I was really talking to a Federal Judge.

But, even though it's not true, I'm glad he was confirmed.

Remember, we (Republicans) still control the government, and if it makes you funny boys happy to come up with some nice satire to fool around with us, well that's ok.

Because, again, at the end of the day, we're still in charge!!!

Condi 2008....

Good bye and God Bless the USA....

Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

Sam, one word - Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!

ollie said...

Geek, er, Greek Justice: long timers knew the score a long time ago.

That is why *I* am listed as a "good buddy".

M A F said...

Your homour,

Well, it has been fun. The kindness of Sam, (cause in these moments official titles aren't appropriate) these past couple of months have been most rewarding. I'll miss the joy of reading those comments from those that took Sam a little to seriously. (You know who you are.)

Of course, aside from Ollie, no one could be more heart-broken to know that our Sam is now an Associate Justice.

While I will miss sharing my work with Sam, I can always take solace in knowing that I was on his "good buddy" list.

Remember my final homage, I am, Sam.

Greek Justice For All said...



That wasn't very nice you know. A personal insult? You bully!

Now, I have to admit that I was not 100% sure that it was fake but there were several times this "Sam" made borderline racial comments (jokingly) that had me wondering if a real judge would have made these type of comments.

References to the Negro baseball league even made me more suspicious but I guess in the true spirit of a groupie, I really wanted this to be the real "SAM"

But in the end, it appears that I should have realized it was a joke. As a big fan of PHIL HENDRIE,, I should have realized satire when it was looking me in the eye.

This is the final post for Greek Justice for all.

Good night, and you guys really need to get a life!!!!!

At least I'm retired living in Greece and having a blast. What's your excuses!

Rosemary said...

You look so great in your SUPREME COURT ROBE! It's about time! :)

Mel said...

So it looks like the Latin Mass really does work; take that, cynics! Congratulations, Sammy. I know you'll do us proud.

ollie said...

Sir, I am disappointed in you. The least you could have done is to take a Blackberry in with you (hidden under your robe).

What was the matter? Too busy checking out Jon???

Veronica said...

What?? This blog's not real?

Sam - I hope you'll keep posting! Or even start a new blog.

I've had a great time reading your posts and am actually very sad that I may not be able to have a good laugh here every day at the expense of people like that jackass Bill Frist and Alito himself!

It's ironic but you've made a Republican judge seem almost likeable. And funny! Who knew it could even be done?

You were born to blog! You can't stop now.

Anonymous said...

Greek Justice -
A true patriot is here in the good ole USA - no matter what your excuses are. A true patriot is not an Ex-patriot.

And I just may be the ole judge checkin' in...don't think Sam doesn't.

Anonymous said...

Anon said: A true patriot is not an Ex-patriot.

Well, from one anonymous poster to another:

Apparently you've never heard of "The State Department". Or how about "The Department of Defense".

These two Departments have plenty of Ex-pats who are on their rolls, some of them who also retired.

And, by golly, I may just be one of them as well.

So There!!!!

Anonymous said...

Al Qaeda Piracy

Mel said...

Sammy, I want to take you out to dinner. Drinks on me. I know this great seafood place in New Orleans. Not one of those French places, but a real seafood joint. . Also, I might have this case coming up that I'd like to discuss.

Call me.

Rarebit said...

All I can say is: don't get hit by a bus. please.

vzeykv oops ahmad said...

Is your son the son of sam?

Michael Taylor said...


Thank you for voting with Souter, Kennedy, Ginsburg, Breyer, and Stevens in voting for a stay of execution tonight. It just goes to show that you can't guess what someone's going to do from a couple of questions he dodges.

ollie said...

Sir, have you gone soft on us???

Remember it is supposed to be S-C-A-L-I-T-O and not A-L-I-T-O-U-R.


ollie said...

er, make that A-L-I-T-O-U-T-E-R.


GrandmaNuk said...

Real Justice Sam or would appear that you are indeed, your own man. Voted with the majority to stay the execution in Missouri.

Shimmy said...

Dear Mr. Alito,

I recommend you give Josef K. the strictest sentence allowable by law. He's a very bad man.


ron said...

The judge-e-man the judger the judgemiester. Tole ya. I look forwoard to your rulings and whether you know it or not I feel a bit free-er already.

Patrick J. Fitzgerald said...

Sam, come on over to my site and look at some new photos, I need your opinion, buddy.

ollie said...

Sir, after reading about our Vice President's hunting adventures, I got a tear in my eye thinking about old times, although I wonder how a septuagenarian could be running away from the scene.

Sirc_Valence said...

What's this about crazy GinZzZburg taking a nap on the bench, I hear?

I was just wondering if you had any opinion about her dozing off during the "extremely technical" parts of that Texas redistricting case. .

Well, whatever.

SamuelAlito said...

Dear Sirc:

That was a little prank I played. I slipped Clarence's Lunestra into her grapefruit juice! It's just a warm-up for getting to JP Stevens's creme brulee, tatch.

Jon Swift said...

During your hearings I supported you, especially when I thought you were the victim of a high-tech strip search, but after your first ruling against the death penalty I have reluctantly been forced to call for you impeachment before it's too late.

juliep123 said...

Mr. Alito, I was informed by my friends at American Atheists that you are good friends with Dr. James Dobson, the ultra-conservative leader of Focus on the Family (a Colorado-based hate group). I was wondering, did FOTF help you win your position as a Supreme Court judge? You and Mr. Dobson just seem so close from what I hear.